Carpe Diem

The One Crucial Ingredient for Marketing: Empathy

You’re trying to cook spaghetti Bolognese for dinner, but you don’t have any pasta.

That won’t work. You know it.
You’ll have tomato sauce with some meat.
Call that Bolognese, and my Italian friend will give you a red card.

There’s always one ingredient that makes a recipe work.

This applies to business too.
In marketing, that ingredient is empathy.

People forget this piece and miss out on converting valuable customers.

Why Do You Need Empathy to Market Your Products?

Here’s how Merriam‑Webster defines empathy:

"The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another..."

Let’s break that down.

Empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
It’s like holding up a mirror that reflects their emotions and thoughts.
It’s like role‑playing. Step into your customer’s character and you’ll understand their behavior on a deeper level.

To sell well, you need to know who you’re selling to.

“The customer is not a moron; she is your wife.” — David Ogilvy

Know your customers the way you know your partner.
Think about what they love and hate. Should you get them flowers or chocolate for their birthday?

Embody Your Customer with: Customer Journey Mapping

Customer journey mapping is a creative process of visualizing the path your customer takes:

From first impression
→ to point of sale
→ to post-purchase (repeat purchase, support, review, etc.)

John Dewey broke this down into five stages, now known as the Consumer Decision Process:

  1. Problem or need recognition
  2. Information search
  3. Evaluation of alternatives
  4. Purchase
  5. Post-purchase behavior

The common mistake?
We zoom in too much.
We focus on Stage 4—when the customer walks into a store or clicks 'add to cart.'

But that’s just one snapshot.

We ignore the moments that led them there and what happens after.

Real-World Example: The Cat Food Brand

Let’s say your customer first heard about your brand through word of mouth at a house party.

His friend saw your video about stray kittens and shared it. He’s a cat lover, so he looked you up.

He found your website: a cat food delivery service like Uber Eats, but for cats.

By the time he makes a purchase, his decision has been shaped by multiple emotional and informational touchpoints.

To win his heart, your brand has to show up across the whole journey.

Your Goal in Mapping the Journey

There are two core questions to answer:

a) What do you want to achieve for your business?
b) How can your customer benefit from your product?

Without clarifying both, your marketing becomes self-absorbed.
You’ll end up like those brands that only talk about themselves—attracting neither fans nor sales.

Emotion First. Evidence Second.

Yes, metrics and research matter. They legitimize your product.

They’re Robin. Not Batman.

Batman is your story.

But don’t mistake “story” for “about me.”
Your story is your customer’s story.

A good brand makes people feel something.
A great brand helps people become who they want to be.

Let’s Go Back to the Cat Food Example

Now you’re the customer.

Pain points addressed:

Wants satisfied:

When you market from empathy, your campaigns resonate deeper.

A Word from a Master

Seth Godin puts it well in his essay on modern marketing:

"When humans make choices—that's marketing.
Marketing is the difficult work of telling a story that resonates, of bringing a consistent set of promises to people who want to hear them.
If you want to change things, it helps to understand how humans make choices.
And if you've got a change in mind, I hope you'll spend the time and effort it takes to get better at bringing your story to the people who need to hear it."

So: empathize with your customers.
Think like they think.
Feel what they feel.
And then tell their story like it’s your own.